Now as a 40 year old man, I don’t have many memories of my mother. All of the drugs and trauma that my body has gone through over these years due to medical procedures has taken away most of my childhood memories. I see pictures of her and I together, but the actual memories are very scant.
What would life have been like if she hadn’t died? She would have been able to see me graduate high school, graduate college, get married, and meet all her grandchildren. She would have rejoiced in my successes and comforted me in my failures.
Truth be told, we can’t live in a world of “what if’s”. We must move forward regardless of the hurts and losses in our lives.
I know that God has given me a terrific step-mom who has taken care of my father for the last 23 years. A wonderful woman who loves me and my wife and is grandma to our children. Although I will always carry the scars of losing a parent, they have healed, and I can move forward in life.
That doesn’t mean I don’t miss my mom. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love my mom. It just means that those once open wounds have healed and the scars remain. With these scars I can still move forward because I’ve allowed the wounds to heal.
My mother has been in eternity with Jesus now for these 25 years. To me it’s been 9,125 days (give or take a few), but for her with Jesus it’s only been the beginning. I’ll get to see my mother some day. One's time on earth is just a speck compared to eternity. It’s been 25 years since mom died and if I have to wait 25 more until that day of our reunion that’s okay because my scars have healed and I have pressed forward with the strength of the Lord.
I do miss you and will forever love you mom.